A Crush on a Married Woman
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I am 23 years old and have never had a real girlfriend, i have had girlfriends in school but I never really had any feelings for them so instead of wasting my time and my "girlfriends" time I would end the relationship in a few weeks. However in school I was madly in love with this girl but she never felt the same way about me and it took me a really long time to get over that.I am not the type of guy to just date anybody, I need to know and like that person first.I fall in love very quickly and always end up getting hurt and I haven't had any girlfriend in the past 5 years, I haven't even kissed a girl in past 5 years. One year ago I became very close to a married woman 6 years older than me. I fell in love with her and I thought that she felt the same way about me. I knew it was wrong but I coudn't control my feelings and now she only wants me as a friend.She is in my social circle and my problem is that I can't seem to forget about her. I really do love her and will do anything for her. I literally can't stop thinking about her and I don't know what to do.We haven't been physical in any way. I don't even wanna look at other women, they don't interest me. Please help.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
I am a married woman myself with 2 kids,and married for 9 years.Now I found my true someone who is younger than me.
I do love him more than anything in the world.Not a minute goes by with out thinking of him .But it's too late for me to get divorce cuz my situation is too complicated.I've known my husbband all my life as we grew up together and he is very close to my family and friends and he is perfect father for my kids..If I get a divorce.i'll loose my kids and my family and friends(all our friends are common friends).That means I'll loose everything I have literally.( hell lot to loose)can i put all this stuff(Everything I have) behind if i choose to be with this guy?????and be happy and can make him happy???I don't think so!!!I came to a decision he is better off without me...it's a lot of emotional garbage for him to deal with.It's very hard for me to control my feelings for him and let him go but it appears to be the right thing and good thing for both of us.It's a torment to choose in between chance and obligation.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer