I love my friend, but she has a boyfriend
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I am in love with a friend of mine. Her boyfriend just moved in with her. I do not think all is well, as she complains a lot about things he does/does not do. There are times when I feel a real connection with her. If her boyfriend were not here, I think there might be something.
I have written a letter telling her how I feel. I want to give it to her. I do not want to scare her off or ruin the friendship. She is the girl I have always dreamed about meeting, and I love her very much. What do I do?
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
50 on 1-10 scale
i really dont know how to respond, because i am in the same boat, i have fallen head over heels in love, with this girl but she has a boyfriend, and i dont want to be that guy to make them break up, because i have so much RESPECT for this girl, and i dont want to do anything mean to the guy shes dating anyway. i dont believe that he loves her, they already broke up once and there back together. but i think he only changed because it's what she wants. i dont think that is good, because you cant make people change like that, they have to do it for themself, shes a beautiful women, and i think that all he sees, look wise she is a 50 from a scale of 1-10, but her personality is even better. just spending time with her is great, and she is a person that makes me determined in life, i want only the best for her. and you know whats crazy when i think about her i dont think sex, i think about holding her hand, and bringing her out to dinner, and makeing her smile and be happy, i may not deserve alot in life but this i think i do. i want her to be treated like a goddess, i want to be that person that does it for her. i want her to be happy so i cant push it, and i really cant talk to friends about it, cause thata not me, i wanna be happy and see her happy, and it will suck so much if i never get to be with her, but if thats what shes wants the how i have to deal with it, i really mean that people say that all the time but i really mean it, i want her to be happy, it sucks if its never with me, but shes a very smart girl, and you have to let her do what shes wants to do, im freakin out, i dont know how to act. i just want the best for her, were living in the same house right now, and i am doing what i can to make this house better for her. people tel her she desreves better, but they never do anything, im trying to make her life better, cause i care about her so much, what do i do how do i act? i cant try to steal her from her boyfriend, but i want everything inm the world for her. to be honest shes the type of person that know matter what is going on she can still make you happy. i dont care what goes on during the day, just to know you have her support at the end of the day would be amazing. i havent really smiled for a good reason in a long time, i just feel that that she can make me smile, and make me happy.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer