Should I leave her?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I had a female room mate BEFORE I moved in with my current girlfriend. She was a room mate and nothing more. I told her that nothing happened between the two of us and she seemed to believed me. But then she started accusing me of cheating on her with my other female friend. She started going through my stuff and tracking where I went online. It drove me crazy! She even went as far as contacting my old room mate. They talked together and my old room mate filled my girlfriends head with lies. She started accusing me again. I cant handle it anymore. I love her but not sure if she really loves me. She doesn't say it very much. I'm looking for a new place to stay. She claims that she loves me and wants me to stay. But I cant trust her plain and simple. This is the second time its happened. And last time I threatened to leave as well. What should I do? Should I really leave or should I try and work it out with her? I'm sure she will just do it again.
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Male
Jealousy needs counseling
Oh George, I fear you're right - he's already given her a second chance. But, have the been to see a counsellor together?
When I'm rational, I realise that I have an amazing partner, one whom loves me an adores me. But, I frequently throw "tantrums" because I suspect infidelity etc.
I took myself to see a hypnotherapy the other week and he's treating me for anger management. But then, this week I read an article in the newspaper, it was clear that I suffer from "jealousy". Today I have googled "how to deal with jealousy" and here I am, reading your wonderful pages of advice.
I want to cry. I clearly have jealousy through low self-esteem. I now need to think about how I build up my self-esteem as I do not want to lose my partner, oh no!
So, if this guy hasn't allowed his partner to seek the appropriate counselling, should he ask her to do so and take it form there? Clearly, if she refuses counselling, then she's sending out a clear signal. But as you say George, maybe he now has lost trust too?
What a wonderful site!
Craig, London, England.
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