She's Healing from a Breakup

We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
Hello,I'm 15 years old, and I have a question to ask. I'm kinda in a sticky situation, and I'd really like some professional advice.

Ok well there's this girl I really like from school......we met this year in high school, and I've really fallen for her bigtime,and we get along great. We've only known each other for about 3 or 4 months, but it already seems like we've known each other our whole lives, I actually can't remember a time when I didn't know here haha.

But with all good stories comes a bad one....I decided to ask her out. We'd already gone to 2 movies, and a school semi formal together, and I felt i had a good chance. So anyways I get a reply that's like well I'm not saying yes or no, I think you're a really cool, funny, and nice guy but I broke up with my boyfriend after a 10 month relationship, and I'd like a little time before I start dating again. Now she has gone out with one guy for about a week after she broke up with her boyfreind (but before I asked her out), but that didn't work at all and they broke up real quick.

Anyways as I found out just before writing this her old boyfreind, the one that went out with her for 10 months, asked her out again.....But....She says no to him, and said it was over between them. I could only think that, that incident is hurting the time it would take to go out with her. She wanted time before she dated me, and the source of her problem comes along and tries another go.....ya you can picture the problem.

But me and her are really close still, and we go to movies, and hang out. All her friends are friends of mine now, I met them through the year, and we're all pretty close. Her friends tell me she think I'm a really nice guy, and funny. But I'm leaning towards the idea that she got too close to her ex boyfreind, and is scared to get clsoe to anyone like that again........That poses a problem with me of course. I know you guys always say just be her freind, and then your freindship will move into a romantic one......well in this situation that's not working.......I need to know what I should do from here, it's a big mess and I dunno which way to go.

I'm hearing stories left and right like she likes me as a freind, she likes me as more than a freind, and ones in between I'm really confused. I know you'll say well confront her with your questions.....but that won't work....honnestly who admits their problem striahgt out? All I wanna know is how I stand with her.......if it's she kinda lieks me, but wants some time before we dted that's fine with me, but I'd like to know. Either it would be nice to know,but I dunno how to go about all of this....I really like this girl,can you please give me some advice,I'd appreciate it.

User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male

Dude i'm going thought the same situation. My girl has dated a few guys since we meet and still can't get over "her first." And it's been about a year since they broke up. The only way she's ever gonna get over him if she desides to get over him. She'll say things like "she wishes she never meet him, and that she wishes that she could erase everything away", but you know she can't. She'll get over him when she's ready. She has to heal that heart that was broken from her ex-boyfreind, and you can help that by saying little complements to her like. Tell her that her boy-friend was stupid for breaking up with her, give her little hints about yourself to her, when her ex-boyfriend is brought up in a conversation just to prove that your better then him and wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Your doing everything right it seems but don't be too nice, because remember, "nice guys finish last". Just be sure to be there for her and be the guy that she can depend on. Your doing good.

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