What should I do about this girl?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
My potential gf and I have been involved on/off again for about 7yrs. Ever since the day we met, I've had problems with her talking to other guys. I do have insecurity and I can get severly over reactive. We were together for about 3yrs in college. The whole time she said she loved how much I showed her i loved her. Her bf before me cheated on her and she left him. I don't know whether or not she has ever cheated on me, but I am highly suspicious. Anyways, I graduated and she had one yr left. She flunked out and was very upset and scared. I told her that I would pay for her to go back to school. I did and paid for her apartment and all utilities. We made an agreement during this time to see if things could work with us. Well, as soon as she moved into her apartment, she left me for her x-bf. I was horribly hurt and confused. I would get sick to the stomach and cry whenever i even thought about it. For 6mos., she was with him. All they did was fight and she would get jealous about him being around other girls (he's in a band). Anyways, she graduated from college, and moved in with her x-bf. She said that all they basically did was go to bars together. When she was with me, we rarely went out. We would go to church and do things outdoors. So one drunk night together, she got pregnant and decided to keep the baby. During the last months of their relationship, she would often come and visit me. and continued while she was pregnant. He told her to get an abortion, and they fought so badly, that she moved back home. All during her pregnancy, I was there for her. She was so depressed. I would make her laugh to keep her mind off things. Her family would all say that they wish it was my baby. Her mom even called men from the hospital when she had him. The child is 10mos. now, and we have been trying to work things out. He is still claiming he loves her, but she won't take him back. But when she brings the baby to visit his grandmother, she sometimes spends like a week at his house, calling me saying how much she hates being there. We haven't been getting along lately and tonite she is going with her girlfriends to see his band play. Does that make any sense? What should I do about this girl? Her baby's dad hasn't given her one dime to help care for his son. But he still says he wants to be with her. As a matter of fact, he was sleeping with other women while she was pregnant. All of her friends know about him also. Why would they even be in support of going with her to see his band?
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
who deserves you
This women is only going to hold you back from a life you deserve to have.You have to let her go.That way you can move on start your own family be with someone who deserves you.Not someone who gonna walk all over you.Sounds like to me she's in love with the things you do for her and not with you,because if she loved you she would see that her babies daddy is not good.,and put more effort in to you.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer