I beat my BF at wrestling & he can't deal!
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have a problem w/my BF's ego. A few weeks ago I finished taking beginner level judo classes and earned my yellow belt. I really enjoyed the classes and found i was pretty good at it, even tho' i'm not really muscular (i'm tall, 5'9", but slender, and weigh about 125lbs)...plus i'm a pretty girly-looking girl..i wear my hair long and like dresses, etc., and I am considered a "looker."
Anyway, b/c of all this,my BF didn't take my classes very seriously and when I told him i got my yellow belt he just laughed. A lot. And when he was done laughing, well, I was kinda mad and so I challenged him to a wrestling match.
We're the same height but has at least 40lbs on me, and he didn't want to do it at first but after I said 'your just afraid of losing to a girl' he was like, "OK, let me teach you a lesson'.
So we moved some firniture out of the way and we got going and he didn't try very hard at first, b/c he just didn't think he'd have to!
But then i tripped him w/a leg sweep and he went down on the floor, and I could see his face get all and when he got back up he started trying really hard to beat me. Well, long story short, I kept using throws and leg sweeps to send him to the floor, and waited til he got really tired, and then when i could tell his strength was running out, I kept him down on the floor and after a fairly long struggle, I pinned him!
So i had a little at his expense and said "I hope you learned YOUR lesson", but since then he hasn't let it go, and kept after me for a rematch, saying "I got lucky", etc...so last week I finally said "OK" to one more match b/c he wouldnt stop asking, and, yes, I beat him again.
Now he's TOTALLY bent out of shape and keeps trying for another match to prove he can beat me and I need help b/c I'm sick of his attitude!
Was I wrong to defeat him?
Should I just fake it and let him win?
I keep telling him it's just b/c I know judo and he doesn't but he's still angry!
(also, when I suggested we take classes together so he could compete w/me better, he said "I don't need to know judo to beat a girl!" )
what should i do???
User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Male
find someone proud of you
He's being a baby.....you took the time and trained when he did nothing and now his feelings are hurt that what you learned can make him feel inadequate.
If you have to stroke his ego that badly, and start doing it now, it will never end. I have had two different girlfriends who took and were pretty good at judo. It is amazing what they could do, and they would regularly beat me with their skill and knowledge (and stamina). I was proud of them, as I am fairly strong and not in bad shape.
You need to find someone who is proud of your accomplishments, not someone who you have to hide your talents from.
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