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Does Losing your Virginity Hurt?



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Female
How much does it hurt for a teenage girl to lose her virginity and how does she know if she's ready?




User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
wait for sex


My general advice is that if you can't stomach the idea of buying condoms, then you shouldn't be having sex. If you can't even take the responsibility in protecting your health, then you aren't ready. Most likely, the reason you can't buy those condoms is because you're ashamed to buy them...so why are you thinking of having sex? It clearly means that you're not emotionally ready for it.

Between the ages of 10-17 you should really be getting to know yourself and building your self esteem. I think that's the reason why so many girls I know have emotional issues. IAll my friends who started having sex early are really dependent towards guys for their happiness. Even though they say they're not dependent, they are. They have no inner peace.

I'm a sophomore in college (20 years old) and i've chosen to stay a virgin. High school was tough, but college is even worse. It seems that virgins are the minority just because of all the frat parties. Don't give in. I didn't. I'm waiting because I want to be with someone who I know will always be there for me, who will care about me regardless of what I do for him, or don't do. I want him to be the kind of guy who respects me and understands who I am beyond the physical. I've taken the time to figure out who I am, my dreams, and views. I've built my self-esteem. I take care of myself, go to the gym, and dress well. I get hit on all the time but because of what I stand for (my views), I reject all of them. I only like the guys who respect the fact that i'm waiting.

I've recently found an AMAZING guy and have been dating him for a few months. I've been thinking about losing my virginity to him, but I feel that I'm still not ready because he and I are too young to handle the consequences if I were to get pregnant. I'll keep thinking on it, but as for now, i'm still waiting. I'd like us to get even closer before I make that decision.

Before I met this guy, I was really scared to buy condoms. Now I buy them just to see if I can handle the emotional strain of buying them...to make sure I'm not ashamed.

Emotionally, i'm secure and I know i'm ready to have sex. However, I know that the consequences are too much for me to handle right now.

So to see if you're ready to have sex, think about the consequences and if you can handle them. If the guy is pressuring you and says he'll leave if you don't have sex with him, then he's not worth it. Let him leave and find someone else.

You'll be amazed at how amazing it is to have someone who treats you with respect and cares about you for you--even without the sex.

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