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Love doesn't sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all of the time, made new. --Ursula K. LeGuin

I am useless with girls

We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
I am a 15 yr old male, who has never had a girlfriend. I dont even have many friends who are girls (a few but not alot) of which none of them are interested in me that way. I've tried other girls in the same class as me, flirted with them, sat next to them, complimented them etc. I always get the impression that they find me extremely unattractive and boring and they have moved away before i get to the flirtatious touching. I have read hundreds of articles posted on the internet about flirting, breaking the ice and dating (including yours) and i am still in the same position as i was before. I am quite shy and it doesnt take alot for me to become embarrassed and my face will go bright red. I am generally a nice guy to be around with, always being nice etc, but it also doesnít take a lot for me to lose my temper and become angry. Thankfully this doesnít happen all that often as I hate myself when in that mood.
I get no encouragement from my friends who by the way have had gfís at some point and I donít tell my parents about this as they will take the mic (In a joking sort of way) but this embarrasses me. I am 5ft 7in and 74 kg. I am fully aware that I am overweight and am in the process of sorting it out, but this doesnít help and makes me very self conscience about my self. Things are not much better at home either as my dad moved half way up the country with his new gf, he is now unhappy up there, my mum has got a 7month old baby with my step dad and my mum has also been diagnosed with ms and is now depressed and most of my spare time is taken looking after my half brother as my mum cant cope and my step dad works full time. This often gets me down and because of my weight problem and this I have virtually no self confidence. I really donít know what to do as far as meeting and flirting with girls anymore. I expect you will not be able to help a lot, but it would be nice if you could.

I am very sorry about the length of this message, but as you can see I had a lot to say. Thanks for all of your help

User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Weight not an issue

Hi. Once upon a time I was an overweight girl, I hated myself, I wanted a boyfriend, I wanted to be noticed for myself. But it never happened. I eventually lost 5 stone, got a husband (now I'm divorced!) I have found out that it is not what you lok like, but the person you are. i am now dating a handsome art teacher and I'm still 13 stone. It is whats in your heart that counts, not what you do to try to make them feel happy. Be their friend first. Thats all you need to do. For God's sake, stop flirting with them - get them to notice you! And they will. Good luck. xox

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