Boyfriend still talks to ex g/f!!
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a unknown year old Female
I have been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years now, I moved in with him 4 months ago. When we first started going out he said that he still cares about his ex and they still talk. I didn't have a problem with that at first. The first 7 months she called him constantly and would not leave him alone. I started getting jealous so I confronted him. Since then he doesn't talk to her in front of me but still talks to her. I have asked him what they talk about and he says when he has problems that he can't deal with he talks to her. I asked why he doesn't talk to me and he says I don't have any good points. And also he talks to her about are relationship when we have problems. It really gets me jealous. I have alot of trust issues and I don't know If I can ever trust the guy, I used to have alot of control over my trust for him but, when he accused me of cheating on him he didn't trust me, so therefore I thought he did something. It has been 4 months now, ever since I started living with him. Should I move out and gain our trust back?
User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Male
Become friends with her
Talking to another woman instead of you is the same as having part of the relationship with her instead of you. You are withink your rights to want a full relationship. You should tell him how much it bothers you that he talks to her instead of you (in a non attacking way... be nice or it will not work). Ask him to try to talk to you and you try to listen and give him advise too. But if you can see that he can really use some good advise that you dont know how to give maybe you should let him talk to her. And maybe ask him to tell you all about it so that you feel more comfortable. Or better yet, why not try to become friends with this other woman? but if you do all this you need to be genuine and want to do it or it probably wount work.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer