My Boyfriend Doesn't Trust Me
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
after 7 months my boyfriend don't trust. after i cook, and take him everywhere i go what should i do.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
work out issues
Yes, I know that feeling all too well! I have been with my boyfriend for 4 YEARS and he still does not trust me...I've never done anything to betray him or make him feel this way, but he has been hurt in the past. I've been battling this one for 4 years now, and finally sat him down and told him how much of a toll it is taking on our relationship. I offered couseling, and my 100% support for the same, but if he couldn't get past our issues then this would never work. It's unfortunate that it comes down to this, because I love him whole heartedly, but after 4 years you would think he'd be able to learn to cope. His trust issues were also holding him back from telling me he loves me. I'd been patient for 4 years and still nothing. Finally, just last week I asked him if he did love me, and he said "yes". He said it was too hard for him to tell me all this time, because he was worried he would feel too vulnerable and let himself get hurt again. I gave him option to either work with me and try to get past his 'issues' and be able to tell me he loves me every once in a while or I would leave. After all, trust is the foundation of a stable relationship, and it's just not something I can live without. Its really begun to ruin us. And even as of now, he still doesn't know if he can move past it. It's hard, but I've been patient too long now. My advice: You should know what you want from him and if he's not willing to work on it, don't think it'll change as time goes on. You can't change a person, let alone a man. Your needs should be just as important to him as his needs are to you and thus far you've demonstrated that by accepting his trust issues and trying to prove to him that he can trust you. In the end, everything happens for a reason. You never know, maybe he'll regret ever letting you go and maybe he'll want to change.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer