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I have been reading somse of the stories about jealousy and i have alot of the same problems that they do.



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have been reading somse of the stories about jealousy and i have alot of the same problems that they do. I am a thirty something female who has been in past relationships that the partner was cheating on me and lied about it. Well i have been married now for almost a year to a wonderful man who i believe is my soul mate, but i still have issues with jealousy. My husband works as a DJ, and that is where we met, and i get sick to my stomach every time i hear about his job and the girls that work there. This bar that he works in is a college bar (dance club)where all the girls are these young skinny things that do almost anything to take a guy home. I know, i have been that age. I find myself going thru his cell and wondering who he is calling and talking to, i do all the things that you are not supposed to do as a married couple, i know that i am supposed to trust and have faith in him, but it is so hard. We are very much in love and i believe that he would never cheat on me and i would NEVER do that to him. I need help in trying to over come this jealousy or it will destroy our relationship. how do you get over what has happened in the past and not bring it into this relationship. Do i have a self esteem issue, am i really seeing myself as not being worthy of his love because of the past? I love him and do not want to lose him to anything.

Help!




User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female

I wanted to let you know you are not alone. I am going through a similar situation and am afraid that I will destroy my wonderful relationship in the process. I am recently engaged to my boyfriend of almost two years. I love him with all my heart and we are both looking forward to planning our wedding and starting our lives together. In his office, however, there is a new employee. The employee is a very young female with a big crush on my fiance who is a partner in the company. She is now his secretary and is really getting under my skin for some reason. There were comments made to me by her to let me know her feelings for my fiance. I know that he looks at her like a kid with big dreams but the fact that she throws herself at him everyday is enough to make me sick. He gives me no reason to even suspect that he would ever cheat on me and I have never let anything get to me like this. I am wondering myself how to get over this silly feeling. I could use some advice and help on this as well. Hopefully I can learn from your responses or maybe someone has some helpful words for both of us.



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