Why can't she just say I don't like you and be done with it?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
That girl... Used to call her every week. But now, she says her dad is home all the time and i can't call her, after I called her house once and her dad picked, so I hung up on him without saying anything, else she'd be in trouble. She said i could call her "in emergency"... < First example of " possible direct rejection avoided"
I gave her a keychain with a character from an anime show she said she liked. After two months, its gone, and she said "Hey ..You know the keychain you gave me? some one dragged it off my bag and took it..." < Second example of "possible direct rejection avoided"
Once I asked her if I could walk with her to bus stop up the road after school, 10-15 minutes walk, she said "Yea! okay.". Then at the end of school, I couldn't find her (Any obvious place where you would expect to wait for people in school) , so just went home. Then I ask her why she wasn't there, she replied "I waited at the back of school for you, but you didn't come, so I left." What kind of person would wait at a hiding place?? < Third example of "possible direction rejection avoided".
Why can't she just say "Sorry, I don't like you."? She knows I like her... Should anyways, I gave her valentines day card... besides the fact that I told her I liked her this time last year (long time ago...). The only way I could forget her will be if she said that she didn't care for me directly... I could even try to be interested in other girls... I look at others and automatically compare and think "She'll be never as kind/nice, as girl I like...".
Can you tell me which of the three examples I gave you was likely an attempt in avoiding me? I think all of them... Do you think I should just call her and say "I like you very much... If you have no feelings for me, say eight words to me as a favour, "I have no feelings for you any more."" ? The part of me that wants to like her/like her keeps thinking, if she takes so much to not hurt my feeling then she must care for me. It is false, right?
I have two wishes, either one come true would be enough.
-> That she would like me back, I don't even care about relationship or not. It's silly, but enough. Relationship is almost impossible, because of her parents and (to an extent my parents), the increasing workload as I approach second and last year of senior school. I *know* there will be no chance for this to happen, yet I do not believe it. Seeing is Not believing.
-> That I would not like her anymore. Then I will be 'free'. I tried not thinking about her. I even left Australia to Hong kong, over 3000km away, for two months, thinking about anything BUT her... When I came back it, so did all my emotions. I can't even remotely try to be interested in anyone else. (Firstly, because there are no girls I would consider in my school beside her, secondly, when I think about anything else I feel guilty even though I am doing NOTHING wrong at all. )
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
It seems to me like you are overloading her. Back off for a while and if possible try to meet some other girls. If after a while you decide she is still worth your time start talking again but this time don't try and show her you like her by giving her too much attention. Just try to be interesting and fun.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer