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long distance trust issues...

We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I have been going out with my girlfriend now for almost 6 months. We both live in Maryland. I go to college in Chicago & she goes to school in California. During both of our school year's things tend to get a little bumpy because she goes out with her friends a lot on the weekends who are big in the partying and drinking scene & I am more of a low key type of guy. I know she would never cheat on me or do anything to hurt me but sometimes we get into very bad arguments & fights becuase I express my frusteration with her drinking and getting wasted with her friends because as we all know when alcohol is involved sometimes people do stupid things, but then she screams at me and say's "what do you not trust me!" I do have full trust in her but it's the alcohol, her wild lady friends and other guy's that I do not trust. What can I do??

User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Help yourself

Hi, I can totally understand how you're feeling. I was with my boyfriend for 6 years, and from day 1 there was always a problem between us with him and his alcoholic habits, in which i just sat back and excepted it all. Mind you it didn't stop there, there were still arguments on a weekly basis. Eventually it pulled me down in which I couldnt take it anymore, and eventually after 6 years I left.
The thing is trusting him wasn't a problem, but if she's not willing to change or reduce her alcohol intake, and meet your needs and understand how you feel then, before you get to involve (sorry) leave!!! You will probably only start hating her,so beofre you do, help yourself!!!

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