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[Love is] to be two and at the same time one. --Sonya Levien



Why am I so jealous?



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Why am I so jealous? I never thought I was a very jealous person until recently. My husband of two years has recently become "best" friends with one of his female co-workers. It didn't really bother me at first, but then it started to make me feel uncomfortable. After about 6 months in his new job, he was forced to share an office with her. I didn't think much about it. That's when they started having a "close" relationship. She transferred departments a few months later and ever since then she has been calling him, taking her break to go and see him, and other little things that kind of get to me. I know I shouldn't worry about this because my husband is a strong Christian man and would never do anything to hurt me. But it just feels weird to me. She even told him to tell me not to feel weird. But it's not just the closeness that bothers me. It's the fact that whenever I tell my husband my feelings about the situation, he takes up for her. I feel like the two of them are against me. Should I have a right to feel this way? I'm really confused. I don't want my husband to lose his friendship with her, but I wish he would respect my feelings. She and I were friends, but since I've been having these feelings I don't know if I want to be her friend anymore. Any advice?




User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Male
She's a queen


I feel the same way. My girl and I work on the same job. The last three months we've been dating. We've known each other for two years. She's my African Queen. She has a personality that just attracts people. She's cheerful & pleasant. She has told me that a few of them (married, by the way) have told her they would like a booty call. We have to keep our relationship under radar. They would move her to another site. Last week she received a call from one of the guys last week. She just picked up the phone to see the number. Seconds later, I dried off and walked into the bedroom and I saw the number on the display. No I was not snooping. The other phone faces out, the background lite was lit and I saw the number & name. Normally she tells me who calls, or says something like why are they calling. This time nothing. I asked why he was calling. She/He were both off that day. Red flags went up..I asked she said she didn't know. I said call him back, she said now, I said no lets go. She saw him the next day and she said she told him not to call her anymore. Anyway he was going dancing over the weekend and wanted to know if she would like to go, he's married by the way. He called even tho she said she told him she had a man. Another guys, always hanging around her on his break, he dropped a dime on me a few weeks ago, which could have got me into a lot of hot water, they God my Supervisor, swept it under the rug. He could have really hurt me. I explained this to her but she still smokes, jokes and tokes with him. It really gets to me that she will do this. I have cut off all ties with my female friends. ALL TIES.In front of her I told two of them over the phone to stop calling. She has given me her password to her e-mail to check something out, at her request, I saw an e-mail (A month after I moved in) to one of the mail co-workers, I had told her he was looking her over, she said it was just Christian material, I feel if there was nothing to hide she would have told me she was sending it, she has given me her cell phone bill to look at, which I gave back. Should I feel this way? When I give her a present it's like ok. Help me. I try and treat her like a Queen, comb her hair and scratch it, make her dinner/lunch, clean, laundry, back rubs, leg rubs, I know she's tired. I do what I can. She says she loves me, but would rather sleep, than conversate with me. She's my Baby. But sometimes????

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