Do I have a right to be suspicious?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
When I met my partner 3 years ago he was with someone. She was much younger and more attractive than I am. He eventually broke up with her, to be with me. About a year ago he became friends with a girl he worked with (who was also younger and atttractive). He talked about her all the time and often went on nights out. I have never stopped him from having a social life outside us and he often stays out until 6am. I said I was jelous but he sais I was being silly. They are still good friends and always text each other (he is secretive with his phone). In a past relationship I would have frequent dreams about my boyfriend cheating on me with his ex, after months of telling me it was ok and he loved me, I found out that he was seeing his ex. I also found a pair of girls socks in his room. He told me he never loved me and loved her (just as in the dreams). My boyfriend had booked for us to go camping with this friend and I became ill so couldnt go. There were a few things he said that made me wonder, but I trusted him. After I went out with my boyfriend and his friend as she was moving to London. On the way into town he called her to say he was on his way. I heard her ask if I was with her, to which he responed 'Yes'. Later in the conversation she asked again but did'nt use my name and asked 'is she with you?' again he just responded with a yes. When we got there they did'nt greet each other (which is unusual) she just came and sat down. As I was talking to her I could see they were looking at each other over my shoulder and smiling as if they had a secret. I ended up going home early and he roled in at 8.30am! He said how her, her friends and him had gone back to hers to watch a DVD and get some food, and they had just fallen asleep. As with my former boyfriend I am constantly having dreams of them cheating on me and today I found a pair of female socks that arn't mine! I love my partner and he is one of the kindest and most genuine people I know, I want to trust him, but I feel like Im going mad.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
talk to him
If it happened one time when you had dreams about your ex and they came true and now your having the same dreams about the one you are with now then it's probably true. Just talk to him and tell him to be open with you. Maybe there is nothing really going on.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer