Am i too dependant?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 years, it was great for a long while then about 6 months agao the fighting started, i have been staying at his house at night and we usually saw each other every day, to me it was fone and it seemed fone to him, we did everything together and it was great, but he now says he needs his space, im annoying him alot now cause im always there, he says he loves me and still wants to be with me but he doesnt like the clingyness. what do i do, i am so used to being with him every day and all the time that now im sick without him, i keep getting thoughts in my head! im so upset all the time and its really affecting me, what can i do?
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Live your life
There isn't one person in the world who is happy with just one person in it. Think about it. Sure your boyfriend gives you most of what you need but really, if you are honest with youself, there are other people who give you the rest of what you need. Its always a big red flag when you start spending so much time with your boyfriend, that you cease to have a life of your own. That you stop having friends of your own. I can understand his frustation and if I were him I would have gotten rid of you the second you starting hording his ENTIRE life. You know he had one before he met you so why would you try to take that away from him? If you really did love him you would never want to do that to him in the first place. but in the end, the only way to live a happy life in every relationship is to be two people living their OWN lives together. I think if you concentrate on getting a life of your own back then of corse you will be more appealing to him. Think about it; would you want to be friends with a person who didn't have a life? What makes someone appealing who has no friends, no hobbies and basically no life. The answer? nothing is appealing about that person. For your own sanity I suggest you put your boyfriend on hold for a while, stop being such a clingy baby, and find a life to live. That is what you were born to do.
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