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Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river. --Malagasy Proverb



frat guy wants to get closer to princess



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
A little background will help here. Im a junior (college), so is she. For several years (ever since my mom was diagnosed from a terminal illness) i havenít had a serious relationship or really been able to open up to any girl. This is mostly because i cant look at a girl and treat her any differently than i would my mom. Being a frat a guy at a big school its not hard to find beautiful morally questionable girls, but ive never been into that because ive been waiting til someone came along that was good enough that i wouldnít feel guilty about. Well i found her. Not only is she gorgeous, shes everything ive wanted and more.

The situation. We've known each other for 3 months. I took her to my frat formal, we went to parties together. We were intimate many times, but not all the way. At this point we were hanging out all the time, sleeping over at each otherís places. There was about an 80% chance it would have progressed to an official relationship, but summer came and we live 6 hours away. So we both decided it was best to remain friends instead of getting into an official relationship during the summer so far away. So we said we would keep in contact, visit once or twice, and get to know each other better and see what happens when we get back in the fall.

She wanted me to visit a few weeks after school ended and i did on my way to visit home. (She wanted me to meet her grandparents let alone parents). She hasnt called me as consistent (from once every few days to now last call from her was 1.5 weeks ago) i call her, but about once a week to keep in touch and try to maintain what we had. The talks have become more like we are just good friends. However, she has told me that she does like me and she texts me saying that she misses me a lot often.

She recently had a birthday. i sent her a nice assortment of flowers and a funny card. She loved it so much. But it is hard for me to progress at this pace when i know she likes me, but i dont know why she doesnít call me as much or clearly expresses her feelings to me. Im not going to ask her straight up do you like me like. Thatís just not how its done, but I donít want to waste my time if shes not as interested in me as I am to her. I donít want my heart chopped up, ive already lost the woman i love the most in my life.

I feel she doesnít express her feelings as clear as I do. Im a guy, i like to open and plain, no games. I just want to get closer so we can continue in the fall what we had in the spring without pushing the envelope so much that it hurts my chances with her in the fall. Im pretty sure if I can find a way to get closer to her being far away for now, everything will be just fine. This is frustrating.





User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Ask her


Thats what u need to do. You need to ask her whats wrong and why she seems to be leanding you on then not calling you as before.
*Sara*
~15~

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