We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My fiance and I keep having the same argument over and over. He is very judgmental and any time I bring up something from my past (from my high school or college years which are 10 years ago)in conversation he will demean how I acted or things I did - and I didn't even know him back then. I feel afraid to discuss random past experiences for fear that he'll judge me or I'll end up defending what I did and getting angry myself. I don't feel bad about anything I did in the past or think it's anything out of the ordinary for a growing adult and I refuse to make excuses. I love him but I don't know how to stop these arguments from resurfacing. Whenever they happen I tell him I'm just trying to share parts of my life with him, not looking for his acceptance or any judgment, yet to him he feels he's just entitled to an opinion and to expressing it and if I can't handle that he says we must not be compatible. Any suggestions?
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Leave it in the past
Not to sound offensive, but honey, get out of high school. There is no reason you should have to drudge up old memories from your past, unless it's relevent to the present. Even then, with a jealous partner, you had better tread lightly.
Try to leave it where it belongs, in the past.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer