How do I trust him again.....
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
like all other situations i have read, I do not feel alone.I have/had a cheating bf. We have been together for about 2 1/2 years with a child together, I never imagined i would live my life the way i'm living it now. I went through a miscarriage 6 months ago, trying to deal with this i found out my bf was cheating on me. We ended our relationship, and i felt alone,betrayed and guilty. Guilty that i was the one who did this to us, to me. A few weeks would go by and i'd cry, cry and cry.Knowing he was still with her, how could he be with someone else so soon,how can he throw our relationship away like nothing.So he started coming around and I'd give in and believe him he was not with her, it's our family we can move on together. Nope nothing like that, he was seeing both of us for a while lying to me and her and continued to beg me back and there i'd go believing him again and again. We are again trying to work our relationship and i feel i'm the only one making the effort. i tell him almost everyday why doesn't he make any effort he should be on my a** right know for everything he has done to me. i question him all the time, i do not trsut him at all, he has lied to me repetetive times, and yes i have allowed this, but how can i move on without telling him anymore. it hurts to see him not try to make an effort. I love him, but how far do i have to love to be treated with respect or appreciated. i ask him all the time is this what you want? do want to be with me and only me? i want him to open up to me more than he does but he won't.
it's all the same answers all the time. yes babe only you this is what with you a relationship. i tell him then show me and prove to me, he will for a while then go back to his old ways again.hanging out with the guys which is not a bad thing at all but whe you make them first there is something wrong. please help me how can i start to move on forward trusting him and believing him, when i don't right know
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
I want you to read your post and imagine yourself being a complete stranger to the situation,the entire time I was just shaking my head,and u asked how can u trust him again?? YOU SHOULD NOT he doesn't deserve yur trust,trust is earned...has he earned it back...from what I have read NO and he doesn't seem 2 concerned about regaining it,I really hope you can open your eyes and see the situation for what it is,I know its really hard to be objective when your caught in the middle...this is just from the outside looking in
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer