Love object has a boyfriend
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
Looked through the website found a lot similar to my situation but a bit more trickier.
Ok try to keep this short. Worked with girl for 8 months got on really great flirted with each other got closer but she has a man, and she's 25 im 19. But she's not like a normal 25 year old. She's fun loving not imature just fun loving and really caring. People say Im very mature for my age and she does too.
Everyone at work thought something was going on between us, because of the chemistry. Well she left for a new job about a month ago. Still keep in touch on the phone and text each other. She was invited to our xmas party last week. We all wnet for a meal which was really nice and it was great to see her again. A lot of my colleagues pointed out the flirting like she ran her arm down mine from the elbow to wrist. I didn't even notice this.
We all went to a club afterwards and we chatted in the club and danced. When we were leaving she put her arm through mine and laid her head on my shoulder while we waited in the queue for her coat.
We all got a cab home and I went in the cab with her to drop her off. She kept her arm linked with mine for the entire journey. She wasn't very touchy before hand this was new. As we reached her house she sat up to say goodnight and she hugged me kissed me on the cheek and i did. She said that wasn't very long so I hugged her again and kissed her on the cheek a little longer.
She rang me on the way home to see if i was home yet told her id ring her when i'd get in.
What I want to know is do you think these are signs that she's attracted to me or is this just friendship. I used to always say things to her to let her know I liked her more than a friend like sexual innuendos. She would always get shy like a school girl. But the problem is she has a man and of course there's the age difference. But I really love her and can't stop thinking about her. Should I tell her how I feel or wait and see what happens.
I think if I tell her I may lose our friendship because I find it so easy to talk to her and she says the same that theres something special. But if I don't tell her im going to hurt anyway and yeah its good when we talk or see each other but afterwards I feel really down becasue i know she's with her man. She tells people she's not happy with him been with him for 5 years. She says she's with him out of habit.
Sorry if it was long, would be really grateful if you could reply.
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
Talk to her
im 19 also and in this exact same situation. ive know this girl forabout 8 months i dont work with her but she acts the same she even has told me that there is more than freindship. you definatly need to sit this girl down and talk to her tell her you will wait for her. but let her know how exactly you feel it wont hurt your freindship if she really is your freind and if she cares about you. you just gota stick it out she may really want to be with you but rite now she cant let go of her bf and you know the girl im after has been wit her bf for 5 years to it hard to let go of somethin like that so make her feel comfy tell her to take her time and figure things out and that you wil wait for her to come to you that the best thing u can do make her feel wanted respected and loved most of all
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer