I Shouldn't Like Him - But I Do
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Female
I'm friends with this guy in my grade whom I have always secretly liked, but never, ever, ever, told anyone about this feeling. You see I have never really had a boyfriend and it would be strange to throw my feelings out for everyone (once you tell someone something at my school - everyone finds out) and find that he doesn't like me...
He is always hugging me and will walk with his arm around me when we're talking, but I've always just played it off as he just thinks of me as a friend, because I see him flirting with other girls and doing the same thing with them alot.... So i tried not to let it get to me.
I am a very jealous type and seeing him hugging other girls really bothers me, so i would always tell myself that he would cheat on you and all this other stuff to try to get me not to like him... (I was friends with one of his ex's of a long time ago and they broke up because he was messing around with another girl at the same time, + while he was with his most recent gf (as in relatoinship not physically present) he would still flirt with me, they broke up)
But somehting strange happened a couple weeks ago...
At lunch I sit with 2 of my guy friends and sometimes he comes over there and sits by me once they have sat down 1st (he's good friends with them too) and one of my/his friends told me "why don't you just get w/ my boy _____..."
I just smiled and was like "yeah right" I guess it comes natural for me to play hard to get. & nothing happened i thought he was just being dumb.
But then several weeks later after ______ had sat by me and then got up to go sit at another table my/his friend told me "you and ______ would make a good couple. You look good together." I told him "Don't ever say that again" not in a real mean way kinda just joking and he was like "why, you don't think you two would make a good couple?" & I said " I don't think ________ could be a couple with anybody." & we laughed and that was the end of that.
A week later again after _________ had got up to go sit at another table, my/his friend said "So when are you and ______ going to get together?" I said "We're not getting together" My other friend said "You wouldn't get w/ _____?" & i said "I'm not getting with anybody!" He goes "you wouldn't even get w/ me?" (we're pretty good friends) & I said "nope."
Then my friend who had spoke first said "oh aight. I like that type." and then that was that once again...
So since then my feelings have been much stronger for him but its kind of like i have fallen in love tih a player and I can't risk being made a fool of like that... Its sort of happened awith another guy i was thinking of getting with- I was getting pretty close with him and then found out by chance from his sister that he was dating 5 other girls at the time and i have kind of been scarred by that...
So i'm not really sure, but maybe my question is how do not like someone when you know you shouldn't.
I have even told his most recent ex why she shouldn't get back with him but that was when I didn't really have strong feelings for him. so - I know all the bad about him but I still can't get over it!!! help!
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
Flirt with him and see how he reacts.
If he truly likes you in return then he wouldn't cheat on you. It sounds like you have decent connections being good friends with at least one of his friends and you see him often.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer