I Hit His Ex, He Left
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend asked me for some space to get his life straight. We are not broken up, just space. Things moved really fast when we got together and I put my foot down about some things that he does that I don't agree with. He says that I never tell him the things that he does right and am always negative. When I met him he just broke up with his girlfriend for a month. The relationship lasted a year and a half(off and on) and he has had trouble telling her that we were together because she was sucidal. He continued to remain friends with her for that reason and I had no problem with that because she has no friends around here.
Well, I got off of work early one night and found his ex at his house. I didn't know that she was there to meet other people and flew off the handle and hit her. I now have charges pressed against me and a whole bunch of other stuff going on. He now feels like he can't trust me. He thinks that he has seen my true colors and that is not the case. He doesn't know that the ex told me that she was there to be with him. It is just a big series of misunderstandings and he doesn't want to listen to me because he said that he heard it all before.
The mother of his child tried to kill him twice and he doesn't want to go through all of that again. He is scared. I know that he loves me and misses me because he has told me, but feels that he can't handle this right now. He is not sticking up for the ex or for me. The ex is moving away in 2 weeks, so I think that the charges will be dropped and he said he would make sure of that. Is there a chance for us, or am I just holding on for no reason? I love him and don't want to be with anyone else. He says that I have pressured him and that I am too pushy. Please give me some answers.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
It sounds to me like your "boyfriend" is not over his ex yet. think about it. He hasn't really told her about you because he still wants to hang out with her. this girl probably is suicidal but if your boy really wanted her out of his life he'd do it regardless of what his ex would do to herself. You had every right to hit this girl but you should have smacked your boyfriend while you were at it. If I were you I would leave him and his ex alone and let them have their relationship. Ex girlfriends are supposed to be ex girlfriends he shouldn't have been hanging out with that girl in the first place.
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