I am useless with girls
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
I am a 15 yr old male, who has never had a girlfriend. I dont even have many friends who are girls (a few but not alot) of which none of them are interested in me that way. I've tried other girls in the same class as me, flirted with them, sat next to them, complimented them etc. I always get the impression that they find me extremely unattractive and boring and they have moved away before i get to the flirtatious touching. I have read hundreds of articles posted on the internet about flirting, breaking the ice and dating (including yours) and i am still in the same position as i was before. I am quite shy and it doesnt take alot for me to become embarrassed and my face will go bright red. I am generally a nice guy to be around with, always being nice etc, but it also doesnít take a lot for me to lose my temper and become angry. Thankfully this doesnít happen all that often as I hate myself when in that mood.
I get no encouragement from my friends who by the way have had gfís at some point and I donít tell my parents about this as they will take the mic (In a joking sort of way) but this embarrasses me. I am 5ft 7in and 74 kg. I am fully aware that I am overweight and am in the process of sorting it out, but this doesnít help and makes me very self conscience about my self. Things are not much better at home either as my dad moved half way up the country with his new gf, he is now unhappy up there, my mum has got a 7month old baby with my step dad and my mum has also been diagnosed with ms and is now depressed and most of my spare time is taken looking after my half brother as my mum cant cope and my step dad works full time. This often gets me down and because of my weight problem and this I have virtually no self confidence. I really donít know what to do as far as meeting and flirting with girls anymore. I expect you will not be able to help a lot, but it would be nice if you could.
I am very sorry about the length of this message, but as you can see I had a lot to say. Thanks for all of your help
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
Holy crap! If someone can take all that pressure and still have ANY friends is beyond me. I think coping with that stress says something for their character. It sounds like there's self confidence deep down, it will just take looking. I was in that situation for a while (me 13), but I found so of the "popular girls" when I was in debate club, and it was really rough and wrong, people jokingly called me gay, but I got passed at and 1 girl liked me after I got rid of the gay thing. We lasted 4 days, but it was the start of a long journey.
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