He's Playing Head Games

We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
Rather than ask a specific question I would like to ask for general insight. For the last five months I have been seeing a gentleman who seems to enjoy head games. I would never confront him because he would only use it against me. It seems everytime I take a step forward he takes a step back. I know how traditional that sounds but this is a matter of control.

Each time I express more than a casual interest he either 1) Ignores me or 2)reacts sarcastically. It's only when I don't call or write, when I don't run over to see him or just when I go about my everyday thing he starts calling. He pays me all this attention until I begin returning the affection and he pulls away. When I act cool, he becomes cold. He used to compliment me a great deal now he finds ways to critique me.

To wrap this up, he seems to only want what he wants when he wants it and only wants what he can't have. Does this sound at all like a head trip? If so, how does a person handle someone like that?

User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Only worthy men

I to have experienced the same thing with a 33yr. old guy whome I have been dating off & on for a few years who seems to be playing games. He wants me more when I pull away and when I warm up to him he pulls away. If I am not a challenge then he feels he has me wrapped around his finger. My therapist told me to tell him obviously we don't want the same things, we should just move on, and let him know I met someone else. She said the minute he finds out I met someone else he will be determined to win me back, or leave and not come back. In which case I am better off. I read 'The Rules' book and found it to be very helpful to this type of relationship & am now applying the rules regularly in my life. We should only allow men who are worthy of us to enjoy our company! Amen.

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