How to get closer to a girl
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
there is this girl i am totally in love with and she wont go out with me even though she says that i am physically attractive. I do everything I can for her. the thing is Im a girl and so is she. But she has talked about dating girls before... how do i get closer to her without trying to seem like im trying to sleep with her?
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male
Many words of advice
1. Honestly is ALWAYS the best policy. I don't care what the situation is, tell the truth.
2. Respect is a major thing. Give her the respect you in return want for yourself.
3. If a girl is interested in you, and you have a girlfriend, tell her. It is common sense.
4. Hint...flowers do wonders if you mess up, or even just to say that you are thinking of her.
5. Look into her eyes. It makes girls melt. Trust me.
6. Be willing to do some of the work. If you live in diferent towns, GO SEE HER!! Don't just wait for her to come.
7. Admit when you are wrong.
8. Valentines Day is important to most girls, do something special.
9. The greatest word of advice...if you say that you're going to call...CALL!! Most girls will wait around once, but don't expect to see it again.
10. If you feel like you don't know what to do in a situation with a girl, get some help! From another girl would be the best way to do it. Help at the right time can save a relationship.
11. Don't be shy. Tell us what you want to say, not what you think you should say.
12. Don't be overprotective!!!
13. When in doubt...smile.
14. Don't follow us around. We want you guys to have your own life, just include us in it.
15. Don't make us invite you everywhere. Take the initiative and come with us. If you are not wanted, you'll know.
16. One word...TRUST...if you give it, you will recieve it.
17. Tell girls what you want...from the start. If you don't want a relationship, tell them straight out. A hurt girl talks, remember that.
18. DO NOT....and I repeat DO NOT under any circumstances cheat on your girlfriend. That is the lowest thing you could ever do. If you don't like her enough to be only with her, give her the respect to break it off before you go roaming around with some other girl. It doesn't show other girls anything about your faithfullness either.
19. Don't always assume that everyone likes the girl you do. Even if they do, don't dwell on it. She picked you. Be proud of that.
20. Parents aren't anything to worry about. Most girls' parents are nice people, and they know what you are going through.
21. Most girls have a lot of guy friends. Don't be paranoid.
22. If you want a weekend out with the guys, tell us.
23. If we ask if something is wrong, obviously it is written all over your face, so don't say "nothing" or "I don't know". If you don't want to tell just say it's personal, and any normal girl will back off.
24. Some girls are insecure. Some need to be reassured that they are the only one for you. If you have an insecure girl like that, tell her often that she's wonderful (if she is), it'll save you a lot of worries because if she's confidant that you are into her, she won't be jelous or protective.
25. Do not say things that you don't MEAN! Things like , "I hope we keep in touch," and "I want to wake up in your arms" will not get a girl to sleep with you OR do anything more than she is comfortable with. If you're with a girl with half a brain, no amount of sweet talking will affect how far she goes with you.
26. Don't leave a girl hanging. Make PLANS. That way no one is left in the dust when someone wants to do their own thing.
27. If a girl breaks up with you, unless she SPECIFICALLY tells you that it's ok to do this, DON'T KEEP CALLING HER!!! It makes you seem pathetic and desperate, and it's not going to make her take you back. When it's over, it's over, everyone need to deal with it.
28. If you are out with a girl, and you see some of your friends that she doesn't know, introduce her IMMEDIATELY or else she will feel as though you are embarassed of her, and that's not good. If it's your "girlfriend", introduce her as such. If you are just out on a date, just say, "This is (her name here)". That's the way where no ones feelings get hurt and it should work every time.
29. DO NOT LIE TO A GIRL ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER!!!! Don't lie. Saying "I love you" too soon will only hurt the both of you, not get you anywhere any faster!
30. Don't say you are going to do something if you aren't planning on doing it.
31. Don't be Mr. On-again, Off-Again. Don't think that if you don't call for over a week that when you do, everything will be ok. Consistancy is very important.
32. Grow a pair, and be MEAN if you have to. I'd rather have someone be mean to me than blow me off by not calling...
33. Do NOT, and I repeat...DO NOT ever go out with any of your girlfriend's friends...especially not friends that are close to them. I don't care if you've been broken up for a year, if you are going to do it, at least have the respect to ask her if its cool first.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer