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Love and art do not embrace what is beautiful - but what is made beautiful by this embrace. --Karl Kraus



I Love Him - He's an Addict



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
There is this boy i love so very much, he loves me too and he promised me marriage. Am 2 months older than him and am into the higer instution but he is not yet in school. That isn't the matter now 'cos i know things will work out by God's grace.

The problem i have with him is that he smokes tobacco and takes indian hemp. I have tried stopping him but he's always saying "i'll stop it my love". The last time i told him, he said he wants to stop smoking but he can't and that he can't stop taking indian hemp, that it makes him happy and cool.

I don't know what else to do, i want him to stop taking it. I don't want him to die young, i love him so much and wants the best for him. I need your advice please.




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
You can't stop him


You can't change him with love. It sounds harsh but if he wants to keep doing these things than he's going to no matter what. Why does it bother you so much? No, they're not good for his health in the long run but do they change him after he does it? Does he do it all the time? I understand where you're coming from and it did change the person I cared about, still care about actually, but I couldn't handle it anymore and it took us both down worse paths than the one we started out on. Count yourself lucky if he keeps it at just that and not any really serious drugs. If he's a completely different person on it than you really need to make the decision of whether to stay or leave. You can't make him not do it and you don't want to end up despising him. Best of luck!

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