I'm currently torn between two women.

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Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I'm currently torn between two women. About 7 months ago, I broke up with my ex-girlfriend of 4 years; letís call her Jill. There were three reasons why we broke up. First, our relationship had become a long distance one for the last year . Secondly, we are complete opposites and I starting questioning whether we were truly compatible. Lastly, I met someone whoís personality was more like mine and I became attracted to it; letís call her Emily. Its like I didnít know what I wanted anymore. Did I want someone who was total opposite my personality, or did I want someone who was more on my wavelength? In order to find that out, I felt that couldnít drag it out with Jill any longer and I had to take a chance and experience this other relationship.

Emily and I hooked up. Our relationship was growing and we both opened up to each other. However, when she was faced with big difficult problems or very stressful situations, she would run to her ex-boyfriend for advice. She had recently gotten out of a 4 year relationship with him because of distance and boredom as well. Well because she was seeking his advice every time she had serious issues, she felt that she still had feelings for him. When she told me that, I had to break it off. In doing so, I made her realize the realization of losing me and she didnít want it to happen. She started to think why she was running to her ex-boyfriend. The reason was that she saw him as a friend and only went to him when she wanted his advice, other than that, she never thought about him in any other way; today I do believe her about him. But in the middle of her confusion, I started to think about my Jill. I started to question why I broke up with her in the first place. I called Jill and told her about the problems that me and Emily were having and it gave her hope that we were going to get back together.

Now Iím stuck in the middle of two girls, Jill and Emily. Both of them are great people and have wonderful things to offer. Iím a very outgoing, as is Emily. We have a wonderful wacky relationship with a lot of laughter. She is very outgoing and friendly and I can bring her anywhere and she would comfortably fit in. Jill is not as outgoing. She is more reserved, and quiet. I speak for the both of us most of the time. She shows me lots of love and attention and would do anything for me. She is also older and her career is set. She will be done with Pharmacy school in about 2 years and will be a successful Doctor of Pharmacy. Emily however, is still young and her future is untold. With that comes a lot more stress being with Emily. With Jill, its pretty much smooth coasting to a good life. With Emily, its going to be fun, but also a lot of uncertainty as for our future. Also, Jill lives 7 hrs away and Emily is in the same city. Jill is 22 years old and Emily is 20. They are both great girls that I donít want to pass on.

What should I do? I know I have to hurt one of them, but how do I figure out who I truly want to be with?

User Submitted Advice from a 51-60 year old Male

It would depend on if one of the girls could easily go with another man, and there would be no hurt or jealously. If you feel more at ease with one, and it is more stable, that is the one to stay with. Stay with that decision though.

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