Why am I so jealous?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Why am I so jealous? I never thought I was a very jealous person until recently. My husband of two years has recently become "best" friends with one of his female co-workers. It didn't really bother me at first, but then it started to make me feel uncomfortable. After about 6 months in his new job, he was forced to share an office with her. I didn't think much about it. That's when they started having a "close" relationship. She transferred departments a few months later and ever since then she has been calling him, taking her break to go and see him, and other little things that kind of get to me. I know I shouldn't worry about this because my husband is a strong Christian man and would never do anything to hurt me. But it just feels weird to me. She even told him to tell me not to feel weird. But it's not just the closeness that bothers me. It's the fact that whenever I tell my husband my feelings about the situation, he takes up for her. I feel like the two of them are against me. Should I have a right to feel this way? I'm really confused. I don't want my husband to lose his friendship with her, but I wish he would respect my feelings. She and I were friends, but since I've been having these feelings I don't know if I want to be her friend anymore. Any advice?
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
I don't know..I would'nt be so passive.Where are the boundries in this relationship? I think being to patient could send the wrong message like,"Go ahead ,I don't mind..",which you do,so stick to your guns and be true to your own feelings.It's time to decide what you want in your marraige.You can assert your possition with a firm stance without being overly aggressive or hostil..These two(husband and pal)sound like their havin a good old time at your expense and this can wear on you after awhile in an emotional sense.This can lead to becoming depressed..My aunt sais "You teach others how to treat you.."So,I'd say it's time to put your foot down!,because this may not blow over esspecially since it seems to me that you husband has conviently pushed his wifes feelings aside so that he can continue whatever the heck it is he is doing and let me tell you my husband and I are Christians also and the both of us know that this type of behavior with the opposite sex is off limits to either of us..I feel for you,and you need for somone to hear your pain and agknowledge your needs as a woman.counseling is a must at this point,and it's time to set some boundries that fit both your needs,not just his.He would not take this type of behavior off of you,and a relationship is two people feeding each other,not one person feeding himself while the other one watches..I hope you get some counseling even if you have to go alone, your sister in Christ,K G. P.S love yourself.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer