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Love will not always linger longest - With those who hold it in too clenched a fist. -- Alice Duer Miller



I Love Her - She's In an Abusive Relationship



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I am in love with a co-worker who is involved in an abusive relationship. She has the same feelings for me and she desperately wants to get out of the relationship and move on. She is also 12 years older than I am.

Her boyfriend stalks her at work and whenever she leaves the house, he threatens her, yells and screams at her, and continually intimidates her in order to get her to stay in the relationship. She is afraid of him and does not know what to do in order to resolve the situation. He has threatened me and stalked me as well. She is constantly being pressured to quit her job and avoid me. What do I do before I lose the woman I love?




User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Be careful


First off, you need to make sure she's physically safe when she decides to make a break. Have her talk to a counselor or domestic violence shelter / hotline. They can help her get a restraining order and stay safe in the transition. You'll want to make sure she has that all resolved before becoming romantically involved, or you may make things worse for her at home as well as becoming a potential target yourself of his rage/jealousy.



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