i dont have a girlfriend or wife, does it matter much to have one?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
I dont really have many friends. I dont go out much either, i used to when i was at school with friends.
The friends i have dont really think much of me.I am kinda knowen as a NERD.
Recently, well for the past 3 years, ive gotten to know new friends and new people. And they always tell me why i dont have a girlfriend, my only answer is i cant get one right. They always tell me to go up to one, but whats the point when they dont themseleves.
I know you are going to desagree with me, BUT, girls like guys who are good looking, i know your gonna say they all dont, but the girls i like, go for hansom guys or cool guys.
I aint been out with a girl yet. I cant get one. Well its not my opionion, is a fact of true honesty.
Is it bad when i grow up, to be alone, are a lot of people who arent so good looking, who live alone or what. I mean what happenes if i am alone right and i dont have a girlfriend or wife, does it matter much to have one?
Honestly i rather not get rejected.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi there, im a 21 male and ive never had a girlfriend. People ask me almost every week as to why I dont have a girlfriend. Well, its not because im a four eye'd monster or anything like that.
There is a tremendous ammount of pressure on young adult men to get a girlfriend because otherwise you wont fit into the 'group'
I ask this..
What do you feel is the better route to take in life?
Get a girlfriend just for the sake of fitting into the group, falling out with her and getting yet another one the week after and repeating this process over again eventually leading to pregnancy, divorce, court cases and etc.
Resist this social requirement and instead opt to live a patient life that perhaps doesnt include a new girlfriend each week but might eventually produce an excellent opportunity to find an excellent partner at some point throughout life. A partner that has taken a long time to find and one of which you are most likely to hold at the very height of respect and love.
I choose option two.
I can tell you now, that in my country at least, most people will take option one. I know the kinds of situations these people get themselves into. Three kids, three different dads, three different marrages, three different court struggles and three different divorces and a countless ammount of relationships down the line that have caused more misery than love.
So to make my own conclusion.
I believe a person should take a more patient route in life, it tends to present less problems and at the end of it all, relationships are likely to last longer. Its probably more traditional and less cool, but then three marrages, three kids, three divorces, three court cases and countless failed relationships is hardly cool either!
Good luck in life
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