Going Back to your Ex - but He's got Someone New
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH MY EX-BOYFRIEND FOR FIVE YEARS. WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 8 MONTHS, THEN I MOVED AWAY. WE KEEP IN CONTACT, TALKED ON THE PHONE, WROTE LETTERS, AND VISITED EACHOTHER. 6 MONTHS AFTER I MOVED, HE ASKED ME TO MOVE BACK, SO I DID. AGAIN WE WERE TOGETHER FOR ANOTHER 7 MONTHS. MY MOTHER HAD SOME HEALTH AND NEEDED ME. SO AGAIN I MOVED AWAY. THIS TIME WE DID NOT KEEP IN CONTACT. I THOUGHT ABOUT HIM EVERYDAY. SO I WENT ON WITH MY LIFE AND I MEET SOMEONE NEW. I DONT KNOW IF I LOVED HIM OR IF I WAS JUST DOING WHAT WAS RIGHT FOR ME AT THE TIME. BUT I MOVED IN WITH MY NEW BOYFRIEND, AND MARRIED HIM. A WEEK BEFORE I GOT MARRIED I WENT BACK TO VISIT MY EX-BOYFRIEND AND HE BEGGED ME NOT TO GET MARRIED. TOLD ME THAT HE LOVED ME AND HE WANTED ME BACK. SO I CALLED OFF THE WEDDING AND TOLD HIM THAT I WOULD MOVE BACK. I KNOW THIS IS VERY CONFUSING. BUT ME AND MY EX-BOYFRIEND HAD A FIGHT AND I GOT MAD AND MARRIED MY BOYFRIEND. THEN I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS PREGNATE.
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR A YEAR AND A HALF. MY SON IS 10 MONTHS OLD. MY MARRAIGE DID NOT WORK. WE ARE NOW SEPARATED. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT. I ENDED UP MOVING BACK TO THE CITY MY EX-BOYFRIEND LIVED IN. WE SEE EACHOTHER ALL THE TIME AND HE STILL CLAIMS THAT HE LOVES ME AND HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME, BUT HE NOW LIVES WITH HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND. SO ITS LIKE IM HIS MISTRESS. I WANT TO BE WITH HIM. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. I DONT LIKE BEING THE OTHER WOMAN, BUT I DONT WANT TO LOSE HIM AGAIN. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
I feel second best
I'm 17 years old...And I am in love with my ex-boyfriend also--we talk, we joke around, flirt, he still kisses me, and we occasionally share intimate moments togehter...So? What's the problem? Why are we together?? He has a g/f...I've known him my whole life--and we've been very good friends, we finally decided to take a chance and date--and it went well for a very long time--but, i would get moody or stressed about things and my first reaction to those were to take them out on him because I love him and I figured he wouldn't be mad at me for being moody--but that's what reuined our relationship-I have accepted the fact he has a new g/f. It's hard and it's very uncomfortable at times knowing we both are in love with the same guy and he still sees me too...And I get stressed out because I always feel second best and I'm tired of feeling that way- but I just want him back in my life-he helped me with so many things and I helped him...we shared so many thing together--in good times and in bad--I truly feel he is my soul mate and I just wish he could see that too...
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer