Husband never says "Sorry"
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
i been married for three years and i have 2 year old son. my husband has a very bad ego problem. everytime we get into an argument he never comes to me even when its his mistake. i always tried explaining to him that we should solve our problem the same night no matter how big the problem is and he keeps on saying yes but when time comes he doesn't do anything.. when i try to remind him about the promise he tells me that it was me who forced him to make the promise. i been trying to explain him for three years that we are adults now and we have kid, we should solve our problems the same day or next day the latest cuz its not healthy.. every time we get into fight i m the one who has to go to him and open the topic and try to explain him even when its his mistake.. sometimes i try to give him time but he never comes to me.. i wait for one week and during this time we don't talk nothing... after one week when i go to him and ask him what did he get by not saying sorry, he says he was fine and didn't miss me at all..
i just don't know how to explain him... half of the time our fight are not serious... two days ago we got into little argument.. he drives rough and i keep on telling him not to do it, so when he was driving this girl was trying to cross and he didn't see her and i asked him to stopped and he brake really hard so i got mad at him and i only said that y do u drive so rough, can't u drive solve and he got mad over that and stopped talkin to me. its been two days we are not talking..... i m lossing my patient now.....
he is a nice guy but when he does this i feel like he doesn't care about me, if i stay sad or if i cry.... during our argument somtimes i cry cuz he doesn't come to me, and my crying doesn't effect him.... he will act like he didn't see me crying..
i don't want to leave him just because of this, please advice what should i do to make him understand.... i have tried explaining him million times but he is not getting it.. my friends tells me that i should leave him hanging and one day he will realize...
another problem is that i live in joint family - its me, my husband, his younger brother, my son and my mother in law.... my mother in law always try to compete with me but my husband doesn't see it and he doesn't like ot hear anything against his mom.. she always try to ruin my plans and my husband doesn't say anything... sometimes i feel like my husband cares about his mom more than me and my son.. we have store which my mother in law runs, and he helps her after work.. he remembers everything about store but can't remember stuff about me and my son... when i ask him y, he goes because store is store.... when i ask him about his priority, he has no answer.... when we are happy, we are very happy together...
please help me with this problem...
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
well this is little bit different situation what we have than other rellationship.
I move back down to my hometown. Certain personal reason. I was in a bad shape as far as my financial. I didn't have much money and my car broke down. I lived with my brothers for couple weeks. One day my brothers and I went down to a bar and I meet this wonderful gorgeous girl. Now
My girl and I have been dating for almost 2 months now. Everything was great and perfect. So I moved in with her for about almost a month now. Reason I moved in with her was that my brothers roommate and I weren't getting along. Due to the pass i found out what him and my ex girlfriend did together. Mean while I explain to my girlfriend about the situation and she offered a place to stay with her. after weeks i stayed with her it started to stress me out that I didn't have a job and all I do is stay home cause i have no were to go cause i didn't have car. I couldn't asked my friends to pick up all the time if i hang out with them. My girlfriend works all day 5 days a week. One day she got home and asked me what is wrong with me and we talked about it and told her that I been stressing out lately due of doing nothing except staying home. I also explained to her that I don't like living together with my girlfriend due to reason of my past and plus I don't want to ruin out rellationship. Cause it seems everytime I'm living with my girlfriend there is always something happens. for instance fights, loosing your feeling for that person cause you both see each other every single day. I told her about it and she agreed with me and she told me her side of story about living with boyfriends and how she is afraid. She said she also prefer long distance rellationship cause it makes it easier for her schedule. She want's to be able to come home after work and relax and not hangin out or make plans with other people when she gets home from work. She said she will so busy on the week days from work and school and she won't have not time for anybody but on the weekends.
Meanwhile I thaught every thing was going well but actually it went good to worst. It started from the day we talk about living with gf/bf. She started acting weird. She doesn't show enough intimate. She doesn't call me as much when she goes out for a road trip back home when she says she would call. She starting to stress allot. She doesn't make me feels special as much. There are times she text me and say's she's been thinking of me but then I don't hear from her. I mean if she misses me or thinking me, she would call right? Action tells the truth than words, Right?
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