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i cheated on her then dumped her all summer due to guilt



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
im 17 going on 18 and have been dating the same girl for almost 2 years. Well, last year, i cheated on her then dumped her all summer due to guilt...well, now we are back together and have been for a while but im extremely jealous, i get scared when she hangs out with other guys. Well, pretty much she only hangs out with guys when we are not together, and this really, really bugs me, her having only guy friends, and watching movies with another guy...blah blah. im totally insecure and afraid that she might find these guys better than me, and i know guys dont want to be friends, they want other things, but she is nieve...How can i overcome my jealousy but convey my worries to her. OH, she still doesnt know about last year. Please help...
-lost lover.




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
End it


Once you cross a line and cheat on someone, you can never gain that trust back. It's best just to end it now rather than waiting for it to end itself.

As for her always hanging around other guys. Well if she is going to a movie with just one guy or to dinner with just one guy, even as friends, you should not tolerate it. When you date another person, certain sacrifices have to be made. This would include any guy friends that she use to hang out with alone at the movies are now off limits. She does not have to lose any guy friends, just can't hang out with them alone at the movies or dinner. It has nothing to do with trusting her or not, but rather respecting relationship boundries.

Since you have already busted that balloon, your best option is just to end it. You can't expect her to respect relationship boundries when you went way out of bounds with another girl and then followed it up with immature behavior by dumping her so you wouldn't feel guilty. She is really ignorant to let you date her again, it will never work.

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