Phone calls = jealousy
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been dating this guy for a month now. I knew before hand that he had broke up with his girlfriend and that they were still good friends. They dated off and on for about 10 years, but broke up because she didn't want to move for him. I constantly have mood swings and get into bad moods whenever she calls and he talks to her. One day she called to tell him that she had a boyfriend and asked him if that made him jelaous. Another time she called and told me to f*** off because I was in the background singing, cause I was bored. And he didn't say anything to her about it. Then another time she called him and told him that she broke the necklace that she had given to him while they were dating. He told he she better go and get it fixed. I have told him that I don't like him talking to her, but he keeps saying that shes just a friend and that he wants me. Should I give an ultimatum, because I think he likes her still and wants to be with her. I'm a worried over nothing? Help me please.
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
I think your friendly advisor at RomanceClass.com has it wrong. If your guy wants to be with you, in a real and full sense, if the two of you are looking at being together in a committed way for a long time, then it is perfectly reasonable to ask that he let go of his continuing emotional push-and-pull with his ex. There is certainly no reason you should put up with having some ex tell you to F*** off. She should f*** the heck off -- or perhaps *he* ought to. It sounds like this guy doesn't have the passion and commitment to move on with life and concentrate on his fabulous new girlfriend (you) and he didn't have the passion and commitment to move away to be with his old girlfriend (the ex). I have some experience with slippery, clueless guys like this. I'd say to assert your reasonable boundaries, and then if he can't deal with it, move on to someone who gives you what you deserve. As for those moodswings: if you are turning into A Jealous Psychob*tch, you'll never have a good relationship. It's possible that your moods are swinging radically because you have bipolar disorder or hormonal problems. I would very, very seriously recommend seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist just to make sure. Bipolar disorder is a very serious condition (I should know, it almost killed me) and it's best to confront that possibility as soon as you can.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer