He isn't ready to make the commitment of living together.



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have been seeing my boyfriend now for six months although we both say it feels like longer. Two months ago he told me that after he goes back to days at his work he wanted me to move in. So now I have brought up this to him again seeing as his shift change happens in a few weeks.. and he says he has chganged his mind. He wants to be with me and only me he says but isn't ready to make the commitment of living together. He just recently went through a divorce but has been seperated from his ex-wife for about a year. He says he doesnt want the married feeling again. He said he wants everything to stay the same with us as it is right now but doesnt want to live together.He says he can't promise me the future like I can him. I know we are at different points in our lives and asked him if he thought we were on different pages in our relationship and he said no, we are on the same page but different paragraph. Before all this he wanted to spend all of his time with me now he says he wants some time for his friends and other things and that if we spend all of our time together we will get bored and have nothing to talk about.I am a very intense person and I know that I am pushing him right now. I need to take a step back and just chill out and give it time. He says he feels like an overwatered plant right now. So do you think giving it time is what we need or am I wasting me time and his? Please help!




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female

Sweetie you can give him some time; however ask yourself if he really worth for you to spend your time to wait for him and how long do u need to wait? You should always think about what is best for yourself first before worrying about others, not being in a selfish way but sweetie you have the priority to think wat kind of relationship you want to live in the future, do you want someone who always think of you first or himself first? Remember you cannot change anyone!!!

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