I Betrayed Her - She Still Loves Me
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years now. For the first year and a half, it was a long-distance relationship and we only saw each other a few days a month. Lots of booze and single friends led me to cheat on her quite frequently with many different girls. I lied about it forever until just last week during an argument, I came clean.
Of course, she was shattered, but wants me in her life and wants to forgive me. I am so sorry for the things I did to her and will never ever cheat again. I feel horrible and to make things worse, now I have trouble trusting her. It seems too good to be true that she loves me enough to let me get away scot free. I'm afraid that she will cheat in retaliation. I'm also afraid that she will never be able to really trust me again.
I don't know how to help her get over this and how to squelch my fears of her getting even. Please help!!
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
i know what you going through, i myself cheated on my girlfriend of 4 years. we are online and the cheating was done online, i came clean and now were trying to work things out just like you two are. i think a therapist is a good idea maybe he or she can shed a light on why you cheated on your girlfriend and they can help you both get to the roots of your problems. i would like to say to anyone out there that truley loves their girl, don't cheat on her, it bring to much pain and to much greif to you both, the cheater if he or she truly loves the one he or she betrayed. they will feel so low, the guilt is almost unthinkable. knowing you have brought so much pain and distrust into somones life, knowing that that person has counted on you and you them for such a long time. it eats at both parterns souls. put yourself in their place ask yourself would i do this or act this way if she was standing beside me? then you will know the right thing to do. as for me i lost my sense of who i am, never did i mean to bring my girl so much pain. she deserves the best life can give, and i only pray that if it be God's will for us to work it out we will. there is no simple answers nor is there a time table on how long it takes to restore the trust thats been taken away. thats saying if it can be restored. your woman must see somthing in you that wants to make her belive her relationship with you is worth saving. mine does. and i'm going to do everything in my power to show/prove my love for her she will question you atlest until she is secure with you and your love. you owe her and yourself to be able to take all her questions and give honnest answers to her. if it don't work out then you just may have lost out on the best love you will ever know.
true strong love doesn't come around that often, when you have it in the palm of your hand don't crush it. anyone readying this please don't ever cheat on the one you love for when you do you also cheat on yourself and it matters not the outlet you chose to do it in. it's too painful to put into words. when you cheat on someone you love it's like you have lost your soul and put your relationship in a dumpster. please never cheat.
to those that have. do whatever is in your power to restore the trust and love lost if she will allow you too.
love is to great a gift to take lightly and so is my woman.
for as long as she will have me i'm here and i will stand by her side until she says other wise. if you love this girl like i love mine you will talk to her express your sorrow and may God be with you and her as you both seek to restore your relationship.
God bless and good luck.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer