He Doesn't Want Me to Flirt
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been going out for a little over a month and have been hanging out with each other for a little over half a year, but while we were hanging out, or feelings for each other were always off and on. During this past month, I have had strong feelings for him, feelings I have never felt before with anyone. He makes me feel special, happy, and safe. The words "forever" and "marriage" have even entered the picture. I don't want to be with anyone else. I know i'll never find anyone as perfect as him. He is my soulmate.
However, a few days ago we had a fight. We work together and he tells me he sees me interacting with other guys, who happen to be quite young (15-16)(i'm 20), and percieves it to be that i'm flirting with him. He says that it would seem to be a far-off opinion if he was the only one to think that way, but he tells me, others feel that I'm flirting too. I understand where he is coming from and do feel sometimes I'm egging these boys on. I do have a cute personality and love to get along with everyone. Before I was dating him, I was often times flattered by the attention I would get from these guys, although I never thought, and will never think about going further with any of these guys. My boyfriend, like i said before, is the only one i ever want to be with. I want to spend my life with him.
I told him I would change, because I don't like the person I've become and I don't want to hurt him anymore. However, I just simply don't know how to not flirt. I don't know where the fine line is between being cute and being flirty and I don't know where he feels the fine line is. Please Help Me!!! I don't want to lose him. He means the world to me.
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
Boost his confidence
Love is the weapon, the body is the battlefield, and to the victor shall go the spoils. I can tell you, I am exactly like your boyfriend. Guys like us, when we mean "flirting" from our girlfriend, it can range from sitting on another guys lap to any physical contact. The best way to handle this is to include your boyfriend in things that you do. If you walk over to a bunch of guys, bring your boyfriend along with you, and be more intimate with him than you are with all the other guys. That will boost his confidence ten-fold. Trust me.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer