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At this point in my life I'd like to live as if only love mattered. --Tracy Chapman



He's a Widower and Angry with the World



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Female
I have been good friends with an older guy for several years now.He is a widower and is having a hard time adjusting to his wife's death.I care for him very much and try to help him whenever I can.He has told me that he cares for me too,but,is afraid to get too close to me because of various reasons such as his health and financial problems.

His kids and grandkids don't visit him much and he feels abandoned.He has hurt me before because he got drunk and said some very cruel things to me.We have since made up.I do love him,but,I don't want to get hurt again.

I was good friends with his wife and she told me that he could be a hard person to handle and that he has hurt people through the years.I believe in forgiveness,but,at the same time,don't want to end up hurt like before.I promised his wife before she died that I would watch out for him and be his friend because she told me that he would end up a lonely,old man.What should I do? Please help!!




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male
yell out your feelings


It's hard, I know. You want to take care of him, but every time you get too close, it seems as though all weapons are aimed at you. The problem? He's still hurt by his wife dying. He has lived with this woman ever since he knew her, and now she has been taken from him. He needs to express his feelings. I have found that if you go to a park in the morning, where nobody is, and it's wide enough to yell, or too loud to where you have to yell, yell out your feelings. Soon, you'll find yourself on the ground crying, because every uestion you ever had about an event in your life, you always had the answer to. Keep up the good work, and before long, he will thank you for caring for him.

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