He Keeps Items from his Ex in the House
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been dating a guy for a year now. His last girlfriend of 4 years was killed in a car accident about 5 years ago. He still has pictures, clothes, and other items in different rooms of his house.
Everything is going great and all of this confuses me. I'm not sure if he has moved on or not. I have mentioned all this to him before but he just states that the items are not in his way so he doesn't mess with them. He is somewhat of a procrastinator.
I know that he loves me. He wouldn't do the things he does if he didn't. I don't want to seem insensitive but I want to know that we are headed in the same direction. How should I handle the situation?
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
He does love you and I'm sure you love him. What he is doing is nothing to be worried about. His ex was a huge part of his life and even though he has moved on, that doesn't mean he has to get rid of stuff that may remind her of him. For example, if one of your parents passed away (God forbid) and the other remarried, would you expect your mom or dad to completely rid the house of anything the other may have had or given to them? This doesn't mean that he loves you any more or less, its just his way of coping. His heart has moved on because you own it now, that doesn't mean that he needs to get rid of the memories.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer