I want kids, he does not
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My boyfriend and i have only been together for just over 6 mths! everything is great between us and he says he sees us being long term, theres only one thing and thats that he doesnt want children or to get married! These are things that i feel very strongly about and asked him that if we ever got to that stage would he be prepared to give them to me especially children, he said at that at this point in his life this is how he feels and doesnt think it will change! He said that no matter how much he loves me he will let me go and get on with my life so that i can have these things with someone else!
I believe that if some one loves you than they would do anything for that person but he has different beliefs and now im stuck..... should i stay or should i go no matter how good things are or how much we love each other? What do i do?
User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
I am in the exact same position as you. I have been with my partner for 2 years, and he is adamant that he will never have kids or get married. This hurts deeply, it's not that i'm desperate for a baby right now, but I think you just need to know that the possibility is not ruled out for ever, you need at least a little bit of reassurance and some stability. We love each other so much, and both believe we want to spend our lives together, and so in this situation you should work on it together, negotiate and compromise... not just take what one person says as read. it's so hurtfull, I am in such turmoil, this is eating me away. What makes it worse is that I did actually become pregnant a year ago, and my partner pressured me to have an abortion. I dont think any woman can deal with an abortion AND have to realise she will NEVER have children. I don't suppose I have any contructive advice, I just saw your message, and I really empathise with you..... good luck xx
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