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He Abuses Me - What Do I Do?



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend started dating when I was 15. I am 21 now. The first 3 months were fine then he started being possesive and abusive. More mental than anything. He told me I was fat so I went on a diet and lost 50 pounds but it wasn't good enough I weighed 115 and he wanted me to keep going. He cheated on me several times and threw it up in my face like it was a game.

We were together for 3 years and I finally told him it was over. I left and met someone else but couldn't stop thinking about him. I was getting married and I was pregnant. But I changed all that. I couldn't imagine living my life without him. I left my fiance and got an abortion so I could go back to him.

For the first time we moved in together and it has gotten really bad. He is mentally and physically abusive to me. He brings girls to my house and sleeps with them. He never comes home. He leaves and turns his phone off so I can't find him and then when I do call he screams at me and calls me a stupid ignorant whore. Even though I have only been with 2 people in my whole life. I don't think thats being a whore.

Please help me I don't know what to do. I can't see my life without him but I can't take living like this anymore.




User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Don't turn back


I understand that you can't let him go, but you have to learn how to let go. If he can hurt you this much that means that he doesn't even love you anymore. You need to move on and forget about him. It's not worth your time waiting for him. You don't deserve to be hurt and you can do better without him. You need to ask yourself do you want to be hurt forever or do you want to start life over and be happy? It's going to be hard trying, but you did it once and you can do it again. Just don't ever turn back.

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