She Doesn't Want to Date
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Male
I'm a male approximately 39 years of age (never married). For the past 4 months I have become good friends with this woman whom I'm extremely attracted to. When we first met she had a boyfriend, who has since completely left the picture.
There has been a lot of flirting going on between us, with the majority from my side.
I took her out to eat about two weeks after she broke-up with her boyfriend and the dinner didn't go as I expected. Although she had no problem agreeing to my invitation and clearly showed a great deal of attention to how she looked that night, the results were not what I had at all hoped for.
When I said that I'd like to take her out, she said she was sorry, but she only sees me as a "very close friend". She added that it may be because that's how she initially envisioned me when we got to know each other.
She also said that there is just no "spark" that you get when you meet someone you want to date. I explained that this "spark" sometimes happens and sometimes doesn't. I added that a lot of people who upon meeting have this "spark", find that it just doesn't hold after a time, and that those who don't initially find this "spark" are often pleasantly surprised after they get to know each other a while longer.
I asked her to at least give it a shot and see what happens, but she was pretty firm.
I still see her about 3 times a week and everything is as it was before our date. We laugh, joke and discuss the most personal of things. For the life of me I can't understand why I can't get her to at least give it a try.
As old as I am I've never been so drawn to any woman as I am to her.
Looking back I believe I may have pushed a bit too hard at times in trying to start this relationship on a romantic track.
She's an extremely attractive woman, and I will expect there to be a rush of suitors at her door when the word gets out that she's available.
How (if possible) can I get her to have a change of heart?
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Male
I'm in the same boat as you are... if you get an answer, please let me know as well.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer