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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain



He Still Fantasizes About his Ex



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I've been going out with a guy for over a year, tho when we started "seeing" each other he was still in ways involved with his ex, i mean they agreed they had no way to continue their relationship becuase she lived overseas and he as he's also told me doesnt want to get too close unless its for defineite n will work out as hes been really hurt in past.

I know his ex found it hard although now they keep in touch quite often as friends. The problem is I feel like it wasnt quite a good enough reason for them to break up, as in i still think there could be unresolved feelings, and how do i know im not just security? also I know from her and as he admitted to a friend, he wouldnt see her because he was sure he would want to get close with her gaain but told me it would only be a one last time with her. He also admitted to his friend of still fantasisng about her, when i asked he larfed and said all guys fantasise and it is just fantasising and guys do that about previous experiences.

what do you think? do u think hes still hung up on her??? he also stopped seein her because he was havin anxiety attacks n stressin too much so i think he wanted to just leave it...too much stress so just avoided it cos he was too scared.

what do you think??? is it norm for guys ot fanatsise bout ex's even if involved in another relationship? fo you think maybe hes just wantin to get off with her one last time? or do u think maybe she was better as sexual things then me???? pls help.....thanks so much




User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Fantasize about ex's


Its almost as if this is my story. Only i am the ex living overseas. I was in a similar relationship, loved the guy, but the distance was too much. And he had this fear of me leaving him after all and he would be devastated so he tried a new relationship which was more secure and took away his lonliness. But he tells me he still loves me, desires me, thinks about me. He likes his new girlfriend too, but its different.he was a sweet guy and i know he doesnt lie. But i told him to leave me alone. I refuse to be the "other woman".
Yes guys still fantasize about their exes, love them even. Depends on the guy, if he is willing to live a lie or settle for average love when his heart is with someone else.
I do wish you luck, dont blame his ex.I dont want contact with my ex allthough i love him. For the reason that i dont want this ever to happen to me, so i dont want it to happen to another person. Be with a guy who still loves his ex and is with someone else for reasons other than true love.
Take care.


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