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The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved -- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.-- Victor Hugo

I definitely don't want to ruin our new friendship or make things awkward for her

We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Male
I started working with this women who I've gone from barely knowing to becoming pretty good friends. It's been a couple months now and I'm feeling like I've developed a crush on her. There are times when I feel she's dropping subtle hints to me & that she might be interested, but I'm confused cause it could just be her being nice to me (she's a very sweet person to everyone). I also found out she is a lesbian, but even that, she's mentioned to me that the next person she may date might be a man. So it all leaves me confused and with an achey heart as I definitely don't want to ruin our new friendship or make things awkward for her, especially at work. It should also be noted that I've been in a long term relationship with someone else and we're currently going through a hard breakup. I know I should be alone before considering anyone, but I can't help what I'm feeling inside. Am i crazy or just stupid? Should I tell her anything??

Thank You!

User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Be Honest

The way I look at it from personal experiences is that she may be confused about her sexuality or may just miss what a man has and a women can't give which is the real thing. Or maybe she just likes the attention from others liking her and it makes her happy. Or another thing, she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and make your friendship with her different.

You wrote "should I say anything?" I personally think that you should only if you trust her and have a really close friendship with her where you know she won't make it a big deal. I've learned from my relationships whether friends or not that it's better to be straight with a person and be honest and say what you feel. Although, I think caution should be the first thing you think about and think about how well you really know that person.

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