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In love, we worry more about the meaning of silences than the meaning of words. --Mason Cooley



I found out that she and my older brother used to have SEX



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Hi,

My girlfriend used to date my older brother when she was 16 and my older brother at the time was 24. They dated for about 4 months and broke up. Two years after they broke up I started dating her. After some time later we had Sex together and later she ask me if I am a virgin. I told her that I am not a virgin and I told her I was in a 3 year relationship before her. She told me she was a virgin and I am her first one. She told me that when she dated my older brother they only KISSED and nothing more. I trust her 100% on what she told me. Two years later and we are still happy together. All this time I am thinking how wonderful she is and I feel like she is an angel on earth. But one afternoon I found out that she and my older brother used to have SEX. I kinda tricked her to tell me, by saying my brother told me everything but in fact he said nothing. After the bad news I changed my view on her from angel to something else. I don't really mind if a girl is virgin or not, the problem I am having is 2 years of dating with her I always think that I was her first one. And now it turns out that my brother was her first one. I am kinda mad at her because she was only 16 and already having sex. And what makes thing worst is that I see my brother everyday at the office, he is the manager at our company. Everytime I see my brother I think of how he can do that to a 16 years old. I am going crazy here. Please let me know how can I handle this. I still love her very much, and I am always cool with my brother. I don't want to let this get into our way, after all they dated 4 years ago.






User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female
Forgive


you should forgive her beacuse she was young and i think he took advatage of her because they only stayed together for 4 months and broke it off and they did have sex. i say your brother is worng and she is to but she lied for a reason, maybe beacuse she cared deeply for you. and if she were to tell you she had sex with your brother then you probaly would have been with her of the 2 yrs you to have shared and if it is going great then stick with your gurl. oh and remember that if a gurl get rape and she is was a virgin at first, then she still is after wards. but your brother took advatge of her and she then found someone on her level an dthat was you and she was a virgin when you two were to gether.

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