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I'm jealous of my boyfriend's ex-wife

We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
My boyfriend is divorced and has a son (3 years) with his ex wife. We live together & have a great relationship. His ex lives about 5 miles away. His relationship with his son (he lives with mom) is outstanding. He calls him everyday at five, and has visitation rights every other Thursday and the opposite weekends.

My problem is not with him or the son, it is the relationship that his ex wife and he have. They, have after some tough times remained friends. Something that I should be happy about for the sake of their son, but I can't help but feel jealous when she calls and they talk for a long time. I have talked to him about things that bother me ... I feel she wants her cake and eat it too. She lives with her boyfriend, but seems to want both relationships.

Does this make sense? Her and I get along fine. I just feel jealous. My boyfriend is a very frank person who tells it like it is, and he has told me that what was, was and will not be again.

How can I teach myself that this is all in my head, that there is nothing to be jealous about and get on with growing the relationship? Would it be inappropriate to question her on how she sees their relationship and how she feels about him, me and us?

User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
friends will ex

i feel for you because i know what your going through,i also have to deal with an ex wife,she calls all the time. my b/f said they have to stay in contact because they have a son, who is 30 years old yeah a grown man.they think there being sneeky about it but i check his cell phone and her # is on the caller id.when i bring the issue up he tells me its all in my head theres nothing going on.he just feels like he owes it to her to be her friend.i know she has some mental issues every sence they got divorced but its going on 3 years now its time to move on.he still gives her money every month to help her pay her bills.and me i have 3 kids 16,12,9.if i was to talk to there dad it would be over between us,but i should allow him and his ex wife to continue to be friends.he even drives 45 miles just to go hunt a mile from her house.and we even go to visit with her at her house.now tell me i aint a FOOL

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