Its like I have this anger inside mostly from the past
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Hi. My fiance and I have been together on and off for 2 yrs and together for one full year almost. In the beginning when we first started dating he cheated on me but he said it was only because he thought I was cheating on him when I never did. Well I left for 6 months and then came back. We ended up getting back together and everything was great but I get in these moods where I am mean to him and get attitudes and we argue about little things and we have a 6 month old son and I dont want our son to be exposed to the arguing. And I want this to really work between us. I dont know if I or we should go to counseling. Its like I have this anger inside mostly from the past and my childhood-My father argued with my mom my whole life. I dont know what to do. I love my son and fiance soo much and I want to change and he is on the verge of leaving me. I am soo scared he is going to leave me. What can I do? Please help!
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Loss of trust
I don't think that people in supposedly healthy/monogomous relationships understand what Cheating does to the other person. It is so damaging and devastating that it will stay in the back of their mind forever. Seems the thought of their beloved straying will never go away...and neither will the deep hurt in the soul. I'm not an expert, but this has happened to me repeatedly, with different relationships. Now that I've found a wonderful man that I'm engaged too, this insecurity still arises, because I find it so difficult to trust. I've been doing a lot of reading about forgiveness... and this is what you need to confront. If you can't relax, and enjoy the relationship and all the other person has to offer. ..you're anger will eventually drive you apart. It's all about healing. Any anger or hurt you have...is only hurting yourself. So, try to forgive if you want him...or move on and find a healthy relationship with someone that can commit.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer