He Lies All the Time Now
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Our relationship had been great. We were best friends, loved eachother and eachothers families, and always had SO much fun together.
Well we had started arguing a little bit and then started doubting whether we were together because we should be together or were together because we'd always been together, so we decided to go on our own for a little while. Well, after about a month we decided to start hanging out again.
Lately, I have been catching him in little lies. Not big things, just stupid things that he thinks might make me upset with him so he just lies about them. The lies are not concerning other girls or anything like that. Well, the last time I caught him in a lie, I told him that was it. It's over. I told him I didn't deserve this and that he was being selfish by lieing to me.
I don't want him to think it is ok and if i go right back to him i think he will not understand that lying about anything is a big deal to me. We are both still very much in love but I just don't know what to do from here. Can you help?
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
You didn't mention your age or his but I'm in my 30's and married to a pathalogical liar. It's an awful existence, he has lied about everything from being married before with four kids, to saying he had tried to kill himself when he found out she was having an affair, which turned out to his sister's kid they had taken in when she went to jail, he even lied about having a job and playing minor league baseball.
Get counseling for yourself and unless he gets some to determine why he is lying even if it is only white lies, I can assure you there is no point in continuing the relationship.
Good luck, don't get stuck like I am now. I want a divorce but he lied so much he has financially ruined us to the point I can't afford a cup of coffee. I lost my job over his lies, he ruined my credit having me sign for a truck for him and then he ran off and never made a payment. I had a substantial sum of money saved when we met, but now I am penny less.
The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer