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He's a Widower and Angry with the World



We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.

Original Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Female
I have been good friends with an older guy for several years now.He is a widower and is having a hard time adjusting to his wife's death.I care for him very much and try to help him whenever I can.He has told me that he cares for me too,but,is afraid to get too close to me because of various reasons such as his health and financial problems.

His kids and grandkids don't visit him much and he feels abandoned.He has hurt me before because he got drunk and said some very cruel things to me.We have since made up.I do love him,but,I don't want to get hurt again.

I was good friends with his wife and she told me that he could be a hard person to handle and that he has hurt people through the years.I believe in forgiveness,but,at the same time,don't want to end up hurt like before.I promised his wife before she died that I would watch out for him and be his friend because she told me that he would end up a lonely,old man.What should I do? Please help!!




User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Female
Same situation


I too am in the same situation. This has been going on for almost a year. I have no answers either. You want to be there for them as a friend but when they start getting close to you they bolt and treat you ugly. I've been hurt twice by mine. This last time has been the worst. I have told him that I need time to think about what is best for me and that he needed time to think about what direction in his life he wants to take. I didn't end the friendship. I just need time to get my emotions more in check. I do love this man. I just can't let him walk on me like a rug.

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