Does Losing your Virginity Hurt?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
How much does it hurt for a teenage girl to lose her virginity and how does she know if she's ready? Advice
I'll answer the physical question first. Girls have a protective "thin skin" that protects their vagina from infection. This can be thick or thin, and actually for many girls this is broken through normal activity like bike riding or horseback riding. So many girls don't have any 'breakage' at all with their first intercourse. The ones that do have the tearing of that thin skin. Think of it sort of like piercing your ears, but with much thinner skin. It's not that painful. And since sex, if done with tenderness and care, is really pleasureable, it's but a small twinge in that feeling.

Knowing you're ready is a MUCH more important thing. You probably don't think about it much at the time, but the moment you lose your virginity is really something you remember for the Rest of Your Entire Life. It's something friends always ask you about. It's something new boyfriends ask you about. It's something your kids, if you have kids, are really eager to know. It's one of those Turning Moments in your life. And if it's a decision you make poorly, it's something that can haunt you for the rest of your life. "I lost my virginity in a slimy hotel". "I gave it up in the back seat of a car." It might seem like a fun adventure at the time, but after a few months it begins to feel really ... icky and nasty.

Never let anyone pressure you into anything. The perfect sex is about you feeling REALLY GOOD. Sex is about feeling great about YOURSELF. If someone has to talk you into it, it's WRONG. If the situation feels uncomfortable, it's WRONG. Life is way too short to be doing things that you don't enjoy. It's YOUR life, it's YOUR body. Wait until it's someone that you are REALLY comfortable with, that you love being with, that you love touching, that you love touching you, and that you're in a PLACE that you feel totally comfortable.

Believe me, you'll know it when you find it, and when you find the right partner. In that situation, it can be a completely amazing experience. If instead, you let someone pressure you (even gently with "I really love you!") then you'll feel icky for the rest of your life, and something which could have been beautiful and romantic will now be forever tainted.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

Visitor Submitted Responses
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It Hurts
my BF will wait
It hurts good
You will know
Care is important
Too young
You count
Right guy will come along
Waited two years
Hit it and quit it
Trust the person
Be ready
No regrets
How to
Didn't hurt
Little young
Worst pain
It really hurt
Use protection
How you feel
Go ahead
Wait for marriage
Still together
Someone special
Gets better
Do not rush
Someone you love
It's your decision
Love... a mystery
Don't do it
Love's what counts
So happy I didn't
Right time
Keep trying
go for it
If he pushes
It hurts
wait for sex
Wait for right one
Guys are wrong
Grit your teeth
Really scared
You'll think back
Sex isn't everything
Don't regret
Can't resist
Still a virgin
Still a virgin
Is he a good person?
Babies and sex
Only 15
I'm totally scared
Acting funny
Loosen up
Make the right decision
Virgin girls
Don't be tense
Roller Coaster Ride
Right guy
Respect you like a queen
Check for diseases
No regrets
Sex ok
Self respect
I'm waiting
Wait for love
This Thursday
Take time
Be a little bit smarter
It hurt
Hurt so bad
Be abstinent
It burned for a while
Afraid it will hurt
Sexual responsibility
Moved to b-moore
It hurt bad
Got pregnant
Find your kings
Great experience
Wait for right person
Treat you like a woman
Virginity & Drunkeness
Be private
Tell him slow or fast
Take it slow
It can hurt
Take your time
Not a lot
Go with what feels right
Didn't work
Still a virgin
Ask yourself first
I was 10
Always Use Protection
It Hurt Like Hell
I'm Still a Virgin
I'm Scared
Be Careful and Wait
Uncomfortable at First
He's Pressuring Me
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User Submitted Response from a 13-20 year old Female
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